It does no good to the Firearm Sales Associate's focus and concentration.
#oldebutnotdead
To the good, I passed my heart stress test with flying colors!
Sunday, March 12, 2017
Uhhh.... You Were Saying?
If you are a very lovely young lass, amply blessed by Nature's God, and dressed to thrill,
please do not lean over the gun counter at Ye Olde Gonne Shoppe.
It does no good to the Firearm Sales Associate's focus and concentration.
#oldebutnotdead
To the good, I passed my heart stress test with flying colors!
It does no good to the Firearm Sales Associate's focus and concentration.
#oldebutnotdead
To the good, I passed my heart stress test with flying colors!
Monday, March 6, 2017
Toast
Cuba Libre! Death to (Raul) Castro!
It's been one of those days of wading in the shallow end of the gene pool at Ye Olde Gonne Shoppe.
It's been one of those days of wading in the shallow end of the gene pool at Ye Olde Gonne Shoppe.
Saturday, March 4, 2017
Sumdood
Sumdood called Ye Olde Gonne Shoppe asking about a particular type of handgun favored by the more discriminating banger.
You could smell the weed over the phone.
You could smell the weed over the phone.
Sheesh, doood. You'll need to be able to coherently put more than three words
together before we'll sell you a gun. We'll even count
articles.
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Metaphor Alert
Anyone else look at the classic cluster-phuk of the Oscars and think; "Yep, Obamacare."?
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
Overrun
These are the times that try firearm sales associates' souls. (As if they still have souls.)
Portland on the Mississippi was wrapped all day in a soggy, wet, gray blanket of low clouds and showers. Many constructions sites, farms, roadway repairs, outdoor retail firms, car washes, etc, etc, etc, closed because of the unexpected weather. However, Ye Olde Gonne Shoppe was open. It's doors were an undefended border to the army of bored guys with nowhere better to go.
They assaulted the counter, blockaded the aisles, demanded attention, shouldered aside paying customers, and generally made a nuisance of themselves; while bunkering their wallets deep in their pockets. At the same time, their confederates kept up a steady barrage of harassing phone calls. The two poor FSAs were rapidly overwhelmed - however, the horde wouldn't allow them to surrender and continued to attack mercilessly.
The only aid offered was the promise of alcohol at the end of the shift.
Unmet.
Portland on the Mississippi was wrapped all day in a soggy, wet, gray blanket of low clouds and showers. Many constructions sites, farms, roadway repairs, outdoor retail firms, car washes, etc, etc, etc, closed because of the unexpected weather. However, Ye Olde Gonne Shoppe was open. It's doors were an undefended border to the army of bored guys with nowhere better to go.
They assaulted the counter, blockaded the aisles, demanded attention, shouldered aside paying customers, and generally made a nuisance of themselves; while bunkering their wallets deep in their pockets. At the same time, their confederates kept up a steady barrage of harassing phone calls. The two poor FSAs were rapidly overwhelmed - however, the horde wouldn't allow them to surrender and continued to attack mercilessly.
The only aid offered was the promise of alcohol at the end of the shift.
Unmet.
Monday, February 20, 2017
Saturday, February 18, 2017
Gun Douche
The following is true, only the names have been changed to protect the guilty.
Gun Hipster: <Pompousing up to the gun counter> I want to see the Edsel E9 pistol in 9x19mm NATO Luger Parabellum, 4.28 inch barrel, 15+1 double stack capacity and weighing 34 oz unladen.
Firearms Sales Associate: (NoNoNoNoooooooo.) Sorry sir, we don't have any. They're not out yet.
GH: <Imperiously> I've seen them.
FSA: Sir, they were only announced at the SHOT Show a couple of weeks ago. Edsel has said they won't be in the distribution channels for several months or more. No one has them.
GH: <Haughtily> I've seen a U-Tube video of the gun.
FSA: That was probably a pre-production prototype.
GH: <Petulantly> It was a WORKING gun, not a prototype. I. WANT. TO. SEE. THE. GUN.
FSA: ..........Okay, sir, you've found us out: We're sitting on a pallet of the E9s, illegally keeping them from the public. But, you're too smart for us. I'll go in the back right away and get one for you.
GH: <Condescendingly> Fine.
FSA: <Leaves for an hour-long liquid lunch.>
Gun Hipster: <Pompousing up to the gun counter> I want to see the Edsel E9 pistol in 9x19mm NATO Luger Parabellum, 4.28 inch barrel, 15+1 double stack capacity and weighing 34 oz unladen.
Firearms Sales Associate: (NoNoNoNoooooooo.) Sorry sir, we don't have any. They're not out yet.
GH: <Imperiously> I've seen them.
FSA: Sir, they were only announced at the SHOT Show a couple of weeks ago. Edsel has said they won't be in the distribution channels for several months or more. No one has them.
GH: <Haughtily> I've seen a U-Tube video of the gun.
FSA: That was probably a pre-production prototype.
GH: <Petulantly> It was a WORKING gun, not a prototype. I. WANT. TO. SEE. THE. GUN.
FSA: ..........Okay, sir, you've found us out: We're sitting on a pallet of the E9s, illegally keeping them from the public. But, you're too smart for us. I'll go in the back right away and get one for you.
GH: <Condescendingly> Fine.
FSA: <Leaves for an hour-long liquid lunch.>
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