Miss Management

Dear Miss Management of Ye Olde Gonne Shoppe;

        Your decision to radically under-staff the store, on a Saturday, during a significant sale, does not allow you to effectively demand that I immediately clone myself several times over.

        After all, you'd only pay me one hourly wage for my army of clones.

St Louis Crime Stats

       Sam Dotson, the St Louis City Chief of Police, proudly trumpeted a drop in the city's crime rate in 2016. Only... most serious crimes, including robbery, assault, rape, attempted murder, et al., were up. Property crimes, however, were dramatically down, mathematically driving the overall crime rate lower. (BTW, this methodology cynically equates a stolen bike with murder.) Remarkably, the amount of murders remained the same (better hospitals - poorer marksmanship?)

        I suspect St Loo did something similar to LA: they cooked the books. Years ago, the Los Angeles police were ordered not to take reports of crimes; a non-existent budget shortfall was the stated reason. To no-ones surprise, crime dramatically decreased - in the reports. Murders were a bit harder for the pencil-whippers, as it was difficult to ignore all those nasty corpses leaking all over the place. The LAPD, affectionately known as LAP Dogs, had to report that murders were higher that period. The Chief failed in his bid to become LA's mayor, but soon became a much loved and corrupt inner city councilman.

       Here in the Loo - Chief Dotson was quick to blame everything on the official whipping boy of failing gubermints everywhere: Itz da guns!

       Dotson had designs on the mayor's office in 2017, hoping to ride his record as a crime fighter. However, the CTRL-Left city board of aldermen threatened the top-cop's job if he ran. He courageously quit the race to keep his job a little longer.

       Dotson would have been a poor choice for mayor - the other candidates are worse.

Remember?

Dear valued customer of Ye Olde Gonne Shoppe:

       If the Firearms Associate is with customers, standing uncivilly close, while huffing self-importantly, will not get you faster service.

       Your mother should have told you.

Just a Phone Call Away

Dear valued customer of Ye Olde Gonne Shoppe: 

       If you're an idiot, it is in your best interest to concede your idiocy and let the people that are trying to help you actually do so. 

        And no, dear customer, if your rifle is shooting high, the solution is *not* the "super-low" scope rings you are demanding. 

        I had to hang up before the gigglesnorts got me completely.

It's Your State, Not Mine.

       Announcing you are from Illinois and cannot buy the handguns your are asking to see will not get you a lot of a Firearms Associate's time.

       Just so you know.

True Falsehoods

       "We're up to our necks in @$$holes!" was physiologically false, but, oh so true.

Reasons

       A young single mother came into Ye Olde Gonne Shoppe today. She was badly frightened and feeling helpless after nearly being the victim of a violent random assault last night. Spent a lot of time with her. She left knowing full well that she's only taken the first steps toward self-reliant safety.

       However, she knew those first steps had been taken.

       Her head was high, and her stride was long. 

        Because: Reasons.